A day in the life...

HEY!

2004-09-12T04:47:11Z

Did anyone put pictures up of the show at the Pit?

"I'm not loathing over this..."

2004-06-24T15:22:55Z

Wid and I are fine just incase anyone was wondering since the whole "Wid leaving abruptly" thing. We just felt the same way that night, just wanting to get away from everyone. Sorry if we offended anyone by doing so.

My trust has been put to the utmost test through everyone I know it seems. Some people seem to be becoming a hypocrite. I have seen the true side of many people these past few days. I know who my true friends are now and how I love them so. Thanks guy, you know who you are. I can always put my emotions in you. Thanks you for listening there Molly and Pat, you guys are the best.

I finally bought a journal of my own. I got it from Barnes and Noble. It's a black leather book. It's quite nice. I sketch in it, write poems, and make journal entries. I don't really have a use for this except to read everyone elses journals. I'm sure I will write in this though, just not for my own pleasures as much.

The best quote ever...

2004-06-17T04:42:09Z

"you are not alive yesterday, you are not alive tomorrow, but you're alive at that moment; if you can grab something for that moment...you have a chance."-Johnny X

Hardcore band practices...

2004-06-11T16:09:36Z

These past days have been:

band practice
recording
band practice
eating chicken with Jamie
band pracitce
hanging out with the wid and kids
band practice

It's been so tiring. Can't stop now though, we have a show tomarrow. At Kevins graduation party, I hope we're ready., We just need to put lyrics to some of the other songs. I need to work on singing sell-out. I should probably be doing that right about now. Does anyone knwo what time this shindig is supposed to get in gear? Or when we're supposed to show up? That would be grand of you to tell me these things kiddies.

Nah nah nah nah nah...WOOOHHOOHHH

2004-04-27T02:30:44Z

"Save The Humans"

What's left now that we crawl over every stretch of earth we want
millennia of wars with things that didn't know that they were at war with us.
We fought people too, but always "them", and now what's left is "we".
We - the conquerors, the kings - the ones that'll learn to fall the hardest.

We've come so far and only just begun.
The damage wrought runs deep.
Please save the humans.

Sick feelings as we turn on our neighbors covetously
opaque seeds of culture warring against us, laying siege internally.
But that's the way it's done, so this is how we die,
yet we balk and choke at the idea that things could be otherwise.

This house of cards so big now stands alone.
With it will fall all stability and hope.
Diversity slows progress so it's clear what we must do
destroy anything not interchangeable with our pursuits.
But not all of our ends weigh equal, not all of our ends are shared.
Not all of us have destroyed, but we can all die in the end.
All humans united in a uniquely human destiny.
Created by us, for us. Hooray for today.

They know not what they do and they think that they're untouchable.
Please save the humans.

"Sign Of The Times"

Poison free, now living life so pure.
Tell me, have all your addictions been cured?
When you mark your fist, what's going through your mind?
Is this your new fix?
Ensnared again, confined.

Transference of one addiction to another, you haven't solved a thing.
All you've done is change the game you've been playing.
Different equipment, the rules are the same - the goal remains unscathed.
Just looking for acceptance and the power that it brings.

Push your self to higher heights - rise above the herd.
Straightedge isn't the answer if the decision isn't yours.
Push your self higher.
Think about the life you live.
Have your standards been met?
Or have you rooted yourself - cemented in and set.

Projection of your addiction to another; the mind is a powerful tool.
Consume a symbol you've now become addicted to.
Just one of the pack with a pat on the back, marked fist finger in the air.
Tell me would you, tell me could you, if your friends were not there.

This is my choice; I made it, I live by it.
My life is my own.
This is my choice; I made it, I live by it.
Are you in control?
-Thought Riot!

I'm gonna hang out with myself.
I won't be in debt to anybody
Or have to worry about pushing anyone
'Cause I don't want them around.

And everybody around me has told me things that I don't believe
Seems like everyone around is pleased when I'm not happy.

I'm all alone again,
And I'm perfectly content for now.

As I dream of somewhere else,
I won't have to answer to anybody
Or have to listen to the moronic views that I hear everywhere.
As I wonder, I start to doubt that anyone would have relief
To a lie he's gonna say before I walk away
There's no use in trying to explain?

I'm all alone again,
And I'm perfectly content.
Yeah, I'm all alone again,
And I'm perfectly content for now.
-THe methadones

Fill it out bitches!

2004-04-22T03:15:05Z

01. Who are you, what's our relationship?:
02. How and where did we meet?:
03. What's my middle name?:
04. How long have you known me?:
05. Tell me one good thing about myself?:
06. When you first saw me, what was your impression?:
07. My age:
08. Birthday:
09. My favourite band at the moment:
10. My eye colour:
11. Do I have any siblings?:
12. Have you ever had a crush on me?:
13. What's one of my favorite things to do?:
14. Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?:
15. Describe me in three words:
16. Name five things I love:
17. Do you think I'm good looking?:
18. How would you describe me to someone?:
19. Would you ever date me?:
20. Tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
21: What do you like most about me?:
22: If we could spend a day together, what would we do?:
23: Have we ever gotten in a fight?:
24: Do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years?:
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:
26. What do you think my weakness is?:
27. Do you think I'll get married?:
28. What makes me happy?:
29. What makes me sad?:
30. What reminds you of me?:
31. If you could give me anything, what would it be?:
32. When's the last time you saw me?:
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?:
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?:
35. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?:
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?:
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?:
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?:
39. Would you make a move on me?:
40. Do I cross your mind at least once a day?:

It makes me happy...

2004-04-20T02:48:01Z

rugbyslakr: i love being in this band MiKeSk8rCcS12345: Hey...I don't use lubricants. MiKeSk8rCcS12345: Why? MiKeSk8rCcS12345: I just thought that was out of nowhere. rugbyslakr: its just so amazing rugbyslakr: it is out of nowhere MiKeSk8rCcS12345: HOw so? We have no guitarist, a singer that doesn't write songs, and don't practice that much. rugbyslakr: i just love the music we are making its just awesome rugbyslakr: just making music makes me happy MiKeSk8rCcS12345: Well me too B, me too. rugbyslakr: personally its wonderfum that i love the music that we are making but a part of me actually thinks it is decent MiKeSk8rCcS12345: That's good right? rugbyslakr: of course rugbyslakr: its good that i love the music but better that i think it is good

Leftover Crack's thoughts on cops

2004-04-20T02:40:48Z

"So You Wanna Be a cop?"

[Stza]

So you wanna be a cop?
so you wanna be on the top
arrestin and shootin' all the kids on the block
incarcerate the youth of the next generation
and you get the high fives at the police station

[Ezra]

so you wanna wear blue
and prey on the people
go above the constitution where all men are equal
beat down the poor, the working class core
your a class trading motherfucking rich man's whore

[Stza]

'cuz it's a thin blue line between the love and the hate
if you so choose to cross it you're a nazi for the state
your injustice will crush us, the precious the few
so you wanna be a killer for the red white and blue

[Ezra]

you're a bitch to the crown
keep your own people down
you've got nothing to protect
but you're keeping the sect
for your own damn brothers you got no respect
and the killing won't stop when you become a cop

* the worlds getting madder and it ain't gonna stop
it's an uphill battle all the way until we reach the top
you got an answer in your holster
and no question to kill
you got a vision for society
and it's your will

[Stza / Ezra]

even the summer sun can't make this situation light
you've got the upper hand in a war
when you take away our arms and our means to fight

[Stza]

so you wanna be a cop?
you never stop with your wicked guns going pop
after 41 shots your grinning in the donut shop
your sickening behavior regulates this society
and musters all the sickness & hatred inside of me

[Ezra]

so you wanna wear blue?
well you're just the type
got an chip on your shoulder and an itch for a gripe
standing on a raft in an ocean of blood
but you're doin the killing and causing the flood

[Stza]

how can we tolerate this mad abuse of power?
you think a cop is never psycho till he stabs you in the shower
choking v
morning g
L.O.C
we never stop
and your death'll be sweet if ya wanna be a cop

[Ezra]

they say the sea is green and the sky is blue
and thats about right because we're below you
you cop an extra attitude when you come down my block
so you wanna be a cop?

* the worlds getting madder and it ain't gonna stop
it's an uphill battle all the way until we reach the top
you got an answer in your holster
and no question to kill
you got a vision for society
and it's your will

[Stza]

even the summer sun can't make this situation light
you've got the upper hand in a war
when you take away our arms and our means to fight

Bored..

2004-04-18T19:57:32Z

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want.

Quiz...still bored...waiting for a call.

2004-04-13T21:48:59Z

ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? Simone and parents
2. What is your weapon of choice? baseball bat and fists
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? I couldn't...
4. How about of the same sex? Completely
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Parents, Simone
6. What is your pet peeve? Too many to say
7. Do you keep grudges? No, too nice and forgiving.

SLOTH
1. What are you supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Put in my rubber bands.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 1
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: No one..
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? But my dog ate it!
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Hell yeah...the kitchen knifes one.
7. When was the last time you got a good workout in? Never...
8. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? Zero

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? IBC Rootbeer
2. Meat eater? Cows are lower than me on the food chain
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? don't drink but probably a beer maybe if that.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Nope.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? No...
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? sweets
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"? I don't think so...I've thought of sex though! B knows what I'm talking about...

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? 1 or 2
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? 1
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Can't say I have
4. Have you "done it"? No...don't really want to quite yet.
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Most would say breasts, so I will say that. My girl is completely perfect for me.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Sarah O'Brien...

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? Zero
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? I don't shop much.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Either give it all away or take a trip with a certain person.
4. Rich or famous? Neither...
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? No...can't say I would.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Nope...
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? Don't have any...

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? Made improv troupe or last years comedy
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Probably the same stuff as I.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? Marrying the person of my dreams, having a family, touring with my band.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? I wouldn't say so, I do it for myself.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? I can't say I have.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Nope
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Played my guitar...

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? A license
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Pat G. He would create an amazing room for me. Also Simone, I could see her making my room really good, it probably would consist of one color though, pink.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world...Jesus Christ, he had a movie made about him!
4. Have you ever been cheated on? I hope not.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? I don't think so, maybe a straight back, lip ring, black hair.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? Inborn trait? Relaxation.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? THat would mean I was really realy bored.

Stolen survey from Aimee...

2004-04-13T19:21:27Z

10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately:
1) Rise Against
2) Against me!
3) Brand New
4) The Unseen
5) Bouncing Souls
6) Anti-Flag
7) Tiger Army
8) Story of the Year
9) The Descendents
10) Morning Glory

09 things you look forward to:
1) Sleep
2) band practice
3) painting
4) listening to music
5) getting my license
6) going to the Bouncing Souls show
7) talking/seeing Simone
8) summer
9) walking alone

8 things you like to wear:
1) 1900's fashion
2) gray pants
3) chucks
4) bandanas
5) my band t-shirts, which I need more of
6) my duff shoes
7) my black patch coat
8) berrets

07 things that annoy you:
1) not getting called back
2) people in pits are in there for the soul purpose to hurt people
3) not being able to trust people
4) not getting enough attention
5) people who lie
6) doing nothing at band practice
7) getting yelled at

06 things you say most days:
1) dude
2) fuck you
3) I love you
4) -nothing-
5) i dont know
6) sure

05 things you do everyday:
1) paint
2) write songs
3) talk
4) play my guitars
5) sit and think

04 people you want to spend more time with:
1) myself
2) Molly and Tessie
3) Simone
4) Sara T.

03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1) Bouncing Souls video
2) SLC Punk
3) Gangs of New York

02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1) The Unseen-False Hope
2) Brand New-Guerica

01 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1) Simone Naomi Atuanette(sp) Borisov, I finally found one.

I've been making alot of private posts lately...

2004-04-04T15:14:23Z

I think I'm going to keep it that way. Less drama but I can still keep my feelings to myself. Goodbye to all...

The Rocky Pledge!

2004-03-14T22:14:06Z

I
(Ball)
(State your name)
Pledge allegiance
To the lips
Of the Rocky
WHORE!
Picture Show.

And to the decadence
For which we stand
One movie
Under Richard O'Brian
(Which is where I wish I was)
With sensuous daydreams
Erotic nightmares
and Angels With Hardons
(That's us!)
For all.

Fill this out.

2004-01-29T01:26:28Z

1. give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. how long have you known me?
3. when and how did we first meet?
4. what was your first impression?
5. do you still think that way about me now?
6. what do you think my weakness is?
7. do you think I'll get married?
8. what makes me happy?
9. what makes me sad?
10. what reminds you of me?
11. if you could give me anything what would it be?
12. how well do you know me?
13. ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? Want to tell me now?
14. do you think I could kill someone?
15. describe me in one word.
16. do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?
17. do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
18. are you going to put this on your live journal and see what I say about you?
19. What color would i be? and why?
20. Am i fuckin hott or what?

So, no drama.

2004-01-19T03:10:15Z

Tonight has been a drama free enviorment. Probably because I'm not around to have it start. No one wants to hang out with me tonight, which I don't blame them because of the things I've done. It just kind of sucks, the people who I rely on the most don't want me around. At least everything is resolved right? I am glad for that at least. So, now that I am able to finish this entry about 3 hours later, lots have changed with my mood. It seems that everyone has come out on top on this one. Molly wants to be my friend, as do I want to be her friend. I could see her being one of my best friends. She called to tell me she was not mad at me and wanted me to stop being sad. Molly is a good person, with a huge heart. And whoever nabs her will be lucky, but first, The "Pats" and I must approve. Tessie, Mollys sister, apologized for things she had said earlier and Boland and I are okay and he doesn't want to rip my face off. All is well with everyone it seeems now and the relationships are stronger than ever. Simone and I are doing really really good. Its like those first 3 marvelous weeks that I have wanted back. I feel so relieved and that all this weight has been lifted from my back. No more drama...how sweet this is.

geckofats @ 2004-01-17T11:18:00

2004-01-17T17:18:59Z

You ARE worth my time...you know who you are. I won't give up and let this all fade out.

Its time to poor my heart out...

2004-01-13T02:23:16Z

Lots of things have been happening. Lots of things have been said, lots of things have been talked about. Time to get all this shit out of my head and on here.

Saturday, Pat and I came back here after everything and we just hung out. We got online and I talked to Simone for a little bit, I was also talking to Molly at the same time. Simone wasn't talking to much and was off doing something and I was just talking to Molly. I asked what they were doing, molly, tessie, and Aubrey that is. They said they were talking and I asked about what. They said about me and I asked why they would be talking about me and what they were saying and after a little of repitition they told me...Molly likes me. *beat* Now, Pat and Boland had told me that there was some talk of her might liking me. I thought nothing of it and thought it was kind of funny and chuckled about it. I told Simone that she jokingly has competition. She said that if it was true that I should go out with Molly and "try" her out, I guess you could say. I told her that this wouldn't be fair to Molly considering I was still for her. She said okay. I didn't really know how to take this all. The fact that Simone wanted me to go out with another girl and she didn't care one bit bothered me. Now back to the present...at first I thought it was some sick joke by Tessie. So I told her I was going to kick her ass if that be the case. She said no and that to prove it was Molly to call and talk to her about it. So I told Pat to talk to Simone while I talk on the phone with Molly. I called her and it all turned out to be true and I talked to her about an hour and a half. I told her my current situation with Simone and where I was at and she told me some things and how she felt about it. Molly and I have talked quite a bit since then and try to figure things out. This has just added to my confusion before. I asked Pat his views on it, which I trust and he said that I shouldn't pass this oppurtunity up unless I have a damn good reason. I told him I had a reason but didn't know how good it was. I will finish this later, now time to go and talk to Simone about all this. Wish me good luck!

My theology paper

2004-01-11T17:28:56Z

The topic of our paper was "caught in the middle". I took it as, growing up and being taught something, but then contemplating it in later years. My teacher gave me an A on this paper and put alot of comments on it. If you would like to see what she said, just tell me. Here is the paper:

Scripture
All my life I have been taught all these things that I was expected to believe in and have pride for, from always saying the pledge of allegiance to the bible. There are many things that I have been brought up to believe in and many I have questioned lately and don’t see the reason in believing anymore. I will respect it all and won’t curse its name in vein, but I myself think that I have made the right choices of what to believe in.
Since the beginning of my catholic educational career, I have been told all about God and have learned all his teachings. I have learned about Moses and Abraham like we are in this class. I have always been made to believe that if you believe in God, your going to Heaven, if not, you are on your way to hell. I have always heard at mass that parents are supposed to lead their children into a life with God. What if the child doesn’t want to? What if the child likes another religion? Everyone is not the same, and therefore everyone won’t like the same religion.
I don’t understand the Catholic Church and how it contradicts itself. They want to help the poor, but yet you see these 2 million dollar churches being built. Why can’t God have a hundred thousand dollar wooden building and give the rest of the million and nine hundred thousand dollars to the poor. If God is like what they say in the bible, he obviously doesn’t need a golden tabernacle. I understand trying to make God happy, but wouldn’t if make him happy to give the money to the poor?
I was once taught that God has our entire life planned out and he creates us in his own image. If this is so, then why does he give us the right to choose, conscience, if obviously he already knows what we will choose and do. Also, if we are all created in Gods own image, then why does he create murderers, rapist, and terrorists? If he creates these people, then why did he create the Ten Commandments to just create people to break them.
There are many people like myself that have had second thoughts and I think that these people should not be persecuted by God for having good reasons to doubt his existence, they also shouldn’t be punished for having a reasonable cause, like the 9-11 attacks. If he were to persecute me, and the others, then I wouldn’t want to be with them for an eternity anyway.
What about the Spanish Inquisition? If you are not familiar with this, it was a period of time in history when Christians massacred hundreds if not thousands of Jews and Heretics. The Spanish Inquisition was issued by Pope Sixtus back in 1478. Doesn’t God speak directly to the Pope? If that is so, then why did God torture and kill many of his children?
I have not ruled out that there is a God, I believe that there has to be a higher powers or supreme beings, but I know that I do not believe what this religion preaches. I currently still go to church out of respect for my mother and father but do not partake in the eucharist. I have meant no harm or disrespect in what I have written or said. I am currently trying to find a religion that I can believe in and feel that is right for me.

Simone told me to put something I wrote in here.

2004-01-11T06:42:32Z

I FUCKING HATE SIMONE, SHE IS SUCH A BITCH!

Just joking Simone, I figured I would write what you think I write in here.

Its not a song, but its a poem I made up awhile ago. I don't think it's that great, but whatevs.

The people of the world
are represented by the colors of a painting
each color independent with its own looks

without one color the painting maybe
dulled and not at its true potential
without any color the paintings
would be black and white, nothing

The colors alone are nothing
but together a beautiful painting
the painter unifies them for their uniqueness

The painter is the relations between the colors
what they feel upon eachother
their contrasts, likes, blend of views
the painter portrays the world to how
the colors react with one another

Two colors mix together to form a new color
They have the same coloring and texture
but yet looked at different ways
except no one takes the time to realize it

You see, our differences are what make us unique
without uniqueness you have a blank slate
but together you can make a painting
which will influence other painters to do the same

Bouncing Souls, "Inside out"

2004-01-10T19:20:58Z

It's incredible we try to be apart of something
It's amazing how we feel alone when we're never seperate
It's so funny how we weave a web of our own destruction.
Then we find in the end we fought so hard to be apart of something

To feel someone beside you is beautiful in life
But to feel a wholeness inside is the greatest feeling
There is nothing that can take that away

We're NEVER alone.

Today and last night.

2004-01-09T03:26:48Z

So I talked to Simone about us and we figured things out and she said things will get better which she trully meant. That made me feel so much better about it. I was just so worried about us. I didn't understand what was going on and I just wanted it to be normal like it was during the play and a little bit after it. I just didn't want us to fade out and lose everything. I am sure I worried her and stressed her out, which I am sorry for.

Tonight, my family felt no need to cook so we went to El Maguey, my dad and I were going to meet my mom and sister up there. We got there a little early and a man said that he needed help with his truck. He said he had a 6 week old baby in there with its mother and didn't want it to get sick or cold. So we went, me driving, to go to his truck, which was on 94 right by El Maguey. We picked up the baby and its mother and took him to get a gas can and drove him back to his truck. When we dropped him off, he seemed very grateful and wanted to by us drinks or what not. I don't drink and obviously I can't so we just said no and told him to help the next person that was in distress to repay us. He said a million times how grateful he was and then left in his truck. When we got to El Maguey, my mom was kind of agitated with my dad because we helped out a stranger. She was pretyt much like everyone else saying, "YOu don't know him, it could have been a set up." People can't trust anyone anymore, its so stupid.

geckofats @ 2004-01-07T18:47:00

2004-01-08T00:54:16Z

There is just so much stuff running thorugh my head like a freight train. I don't know what to do with it. Today, I played on my guitar for 2 hours straight. Sometimes in between I would get on here, trying to find some answers or to look for something to get my mind of it. I have so many things to say and so manys things to ask about us but I don't want to worry her with my problems she has her own. It's just so much to handle, to want something and to not be able to have it. Music is my antidote I guess, it helps. I wish I could help myself, I just don't know what to do.

Anyone have a time machine?

I busted out early!

2004-01-07T19:37:05Z

It's funny, people actually read this thing. I only though Pat read it. It turns out people have been asking me about my entries and wondering what the hell they mean.

-sigh-

2004-01-06T02:57:36Z

...I wish everything was back to the way it used to be between us. Those are the times I want back and cherish so.

geckofats @ 2004-01-04T00:51:00

2004-01-04T06:51:39Z

...am I the one that needs it?!